Did you watch the Royal Wedding this weekend? In this vlog I talk about Meghan and Harry’s love and business relationship, and three factors for marriage success (regardless of whether you’re in business with your spouse!).
Well HELLO, and welcome to the weekly vlog!
This being a Canadian long weekend which actually celebrates Queen Victoria’s birthday, I thought it might be fun to talk about the love and business connection and the Royal Wedding.
I know many of us got up early on Saturday morning to watch Meghan and Harry exchange vows. It was a lovely, very public display of love!
And without being cynical here, I think it was also the start of their business partnership. You might be thinking, “business partnership??”
Well yes! Think about it! By marrying Harry, Meghan Markle joined a family business, one which generates about $1.8 billion for the UK economy each year.
It may not be a “traditional” business like you and I have, but it sounds to me like they’re in it for love and business! With the added pressure of worldwide scrutiny that, thankfully, most of us will never have to face!
Now call me a hopeless romantic, but I think somehow Harry and Megan have many of the right ingredients for success here. And that’s what I wanted to talk about in this video tip today.
Reasons for Marriage Success
Why is it that some people seem to have long, happy marriages while others fall apart? Regardless of whether they are in business together or even entrepreneurs at all?
American psychologists John and Julie Gottman have been studying the factors that make for long lasting marriages for over 40 years.
Their research has identified several factors for marriage success and today I’d like to outline just 3:
- Making sure you know and respect each other’s dreams and aspirations
- Working out a common set of goals that you both work towards
- Checking in with each other regularly about those goals
Those factors have me thinking that perhaps Meghan and Harry have good chances of longevity in their marriage. In their official engagement interview they talked about a trip to Botswana during which they really got to know one another. They said they talked about what they were both very passionate about: doing good in the world. Clearly they were aware of each other‘s dreams and aspirations early on.
But marriage success doesn’t mean you have to share the same dream or be doing the same work, according to the Gottman’s research. You should just know about and respect each other’s dreams.
And, taking those aspirations into account, you need a common goal. Again, it seems Harry and Meghan have this covered with their planned collaboration on their charitable work.
So for all of you watching here, having a business with your spouse may be a factor that helps you stay married!
That is, of course, as long as you both feel you are working towards that goal together. This means making time to check in with each other periodically about those goals.You can’t be going along assuming you are on the same page. That is the third tip and probably most important advice here.
Because while you have goals and aspirations, when it comes to business, we all know things change!
The Importance of Checking In
This happened in my own marriage and business partnership with Heinz. About 14 years ago we opened a restaurant, along with the consulting firm we already had. We had the two businesses, which we both worked in, for almost two years. We were working so hard and in the second year, really not enjoying it all it. Except that we didn’t talk about it. We’d opened the restaurant and things got so busy that I think we just stopped communicating.
I remember coming back from a conference in the summer of 2005, determined to tell Heinz that I just couldn’t do it anymore. And feeling like I would be letting him down so badly!
When I finally got the nerve to have the conversation, he looked at me with shock but his reaction was completed different than what I’d expected.
I remember him saying softly, “Yeah, me too.”
Wow! I had been dreading the moment when I would tell him I didn’t want to be part of this business that I thought he held dear. And he had been thinking the same all along about me!It turns out our common goal really was to make a comfortable life for our family, but not at the expense of our family. And the restaurant was just too much.
In the end we got out of our business commitments with the restaurant. And it cost us a lot of money. But it probably saved our marriage, not to mention our health.
Our daughter Iliana noticed it too. At Thanksgiving dinner that year, when it was all over, she looked at her father and said with her big blue eyes: “Daddy it’s so good to have you back.”
So checking in with your partner about your dreams, goals and aspirations is essential to your success in both love and in business.
Fairytale weddings aside, to summarize…
If you want to have a happy, healthy relationship in love and in business, keep these 3 things in mind:
- Make sure you know and respect each other’s dreams and aspirations
- Keep working towards a common goal
- And check in with each other
Know that feeling trapped in a situation where you and your partner are not aligned about dreams and goals is one of the areas we will be covering in our upcoming free webinar on “The Love-Business Trap” in June. Check our events calendar for details!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Leave a comment!
And if you know someone who might benefit from this information, please share.
That’s it for me today. Hope you have a fabulous week ahead!
Yours for love and business,